I Can't Decide
by Sisco
Summary: Russia x America. Yaoi. America ends up injured after a hit from Japan. Russia thinks he has the advantage now...


I Can't Decide

By: Sisco

Beta: nephthyssnape

~M~

Alfred Jones was at his wits end. He felt as if all of his vigor had been drained away by that ill-fated attack by Japan. He was aching all over, despite how he was only hit in one area of his body; and he was fairly certain that his allies were feeling the same effects, but not as heavily so. He could feel their gazes on him, full of concern, and obviously expecting him to bounce back into his enthusiastic self at any given minute. However, there was that one, that black lamb. Ivan was staring at him with smug-content, more than out of sympathy.

That ass-hole.

"Alfred," Arthur called, breaking his little brother from the dark reverie. "Are you going to be okay? Would you like to rest, maybe?" It was rare for Arthur to show this much concern for anyone, let alone someone that had seceded from him. But, even he had to show a little compassion for someone that suffered a hit as great as the one Alfred had. He could see blood steadily seeping through the bandage wrapped securely around his little brother's right shoulder, and wondered for a brief second if someone should check it. There was no doubt in Arthur's mind, now, that most of the nations definitely could feel Alfred's pain.

It was Francis, though, who got to his feet and approached the injured American first. He placed a hand on Alfred's uninjured shoulder and squeezed gently. "Come on, Alfred. You're obviously in no condition to discuss the issue of the attack. Two days of rest is barely enough to set your mind on anything this important. We'll try to help and think of something."

"Yeah…okay." Alfred closed his weary eyes for only a moment, and he suddenly looked as old as he should have. Dark rings weighed heavily under his eyes, and his body moved sluggishly.

The allies waited patiently until Francis was out of the room with Alfred and immediately started discussing the matter of Japan.

"You know that your brother won't be the same after this," Yao started. "Alfred's boss actually tried persuading Kiku in not attacking, but he was completely ignored. I believe Alfred feels less of a hero than he ever has, now. He believes that he failed his people."

"I would have never expected Kiku to do something like this, especially to Alfred. They were like brothers." Arthur bowed his head, staring blankly at the glossy table top, obviously at a loss of what to do next. "Alfred's boss may end up doing something drastic, and we won't be able to stop it because we're only his supports."

There was a shuffle by a chair being scooted and everyone looked up to see that it was Ivan getting up. He approached the door, and had barely touched the handle, when Arthur called out to him.

"Where are you going? We have important matters we need to take care of here. Whatever it is you need to do, it can wait."

Ivan smiled at the blond Englishman, an ominous radiance in his stare. "I'm sorry, England," he murmured, a little too affectionate for Arthur's taste. "I've had my fair share with Japan in the past. I'm sure you can continue this without any of my services." Just as he opened the door, Francis made his entrance and stared at the taller nation with trepidation.

"Eh? What did I miss?"

Arthur was trembling with his own sort of fear. He realized that he and Ivan had never really seen eye to eye, ever since he kept Russia from invading China. Hell, the Russian would love to smash a boot into his face. But, as it was, Ivan was acting even more peculiar than usual. Arthur looked up at Francis with a frown. "Nothing. Just take your seat, so we can get this over with."

Francis glowered at his long time rival, but didn't argue, considering he knew there was something bothering Ivan. The mysterious nation usually always liked listening to the disputes, and why Francis found this normal was beyond him. "Yeah, yeah. You're always so pushy, scones freak."

"Listen here, you French pervert," Author growled. "I'm very pissed right now, and if you don't want to face the English army again, you had better shut the hell up!"

"Eh…oui…oui." Francis quietly sat himself beside Wong, an ill-fated atmosphere about him.

XxX

Alfred didn't think anything of it as he felt the bandages being removed from his wound. He was so comfortably drugged that it gave him enough reason to not care. The cool air felt good against his fevered skin. "Feels…good," he murmured.

There was a short pause after his comment, but then the culprit's hands started moving over his body; teasing, feather light touches. Alfred purred encouragingly. The caresses somewhat cleared his drug-induced-mind so he could speculate who his molester was. He was one-hundred percent certain that it had to be Francis, sneaking in to take advantage of his weakened state.

"Francis…" Alfred hoped that he had sounded threatening, but he doubted it, since his whole body was still trying to catch up with his brain. When the hands still continued their descent further down south, warning bells started ringing. He was being invaded. He immediately shot up, his head bumping hard against the imposter's. "Ow!" He brought a hand up to his forehead and rubbed at it. "What the hell is the matter with you? I don't want you to…"

Alfred gasped when he realized it wasn't who he had actually predicted it to be.

Ivan was also massaging his forehead from the unexpected blow. Well, so much for that plan of invasion. It definitely gave him a steady reason for a prompt retreat. "That really hurt, America." He said it so innocently, childishly, it made Alfred wonder if the Russian nation had any idea of what he had been doing.

"Ivan," the blond muttered with a semi-relieved sigh. "What are you doing? Why are you trying to take advantage of me when I'm so weak?"

"That's why; you looked weak. It's not like I can actually persuade you to become part of me with words, now is it?" Ivan smiled eerily as he leaned into Alfred's personal space.

Alfred paled as he fell back against his pillows. He was much too tired to fight back at this moment, and with Russia's size at his advantage, he definitely didn't have a chance if it came down to a brawl. His breath came out in short pants as his fever started to rise. "Don't…want to… Wouldn't be fair…"

There was a small chuckle as Ivan reached forward and grasped Alfred's injured shoulder. "Who said I was fair?" He squeezed the younger nation's wound tightly, causing the blond to cry out and shudder violently.

"Ah! Quit it!" Alfred rolled to his side while holding his shoulder, trying to block the now heavily flowing blood. What the hell was the matter with Ivan? "You bastard…" He yelped as Ivan roughly pushed him back down onto his back and placed his lips against his bleeding wound. He lapped and sucked at the blood like a deprived vampire, all the while fending off Alfred's resisting hands. "St…Stop…" America suddenly felt weaker than usual, and at the same time, numb with pleasure. Ivan's lips and tongue felt incredibly good, and he suddenly found himself strongly craving for it. "Ivan…"

The taller male moaned at the taste of the other's blood, American blood; which he thought he'd never taste in this sort of situation. He had always imagined that he'd be the one to spill Alfred's blood, and taste it as it splattered across his face. The satisfaction of seeing Alfred's pained expression would put him in ecstasy. This, though… this was strangely satisfying, too.

Alfred felt every bit vulnerable, now. He weakly muttered Russia's name, and was slightly surprised that the other responded by pulling away and staring down at him like a delicious buffet set out before him.

"Let me take care of you, America." Ivan leaned in closer, his lips barely brushing against the blonde's ear. "You're in no shape to be defending yourself, da?"

Alfred moaned as the other's weight pressed down against him. He could barely breathe. "No…no. I won't…let you…" He cried out sharply as Russia pressed his thumb deeply into the wound, spurting his blood across the older nation's face, hair, and clothes.

"You're really stubborn, da." It was more of a statement than a question by the taller male, and he continued to mercilessly torture his young victim. "Give in, and I'll stop."

Alfred ground out another 'no' as he snapped his teeth shut, trying to block out the severe pain. The drugs had obviously stopped working at this point, and he was trying desperately to pry the stronger nation's hand away. "S-stop it, Ivan! I'm not…giving into you!" He roared out in frustration as he continued to struggle under his captor. Why couldn't anyone hear him? Why wasn't anyone checking up on him? Didn't anyone care anymore? Tears stung his eyes at the thought, and he gradually started to wear down from the skirmish. It was too much, and his world was beginning to fade away into darkness. Was this how he was going to lose?

Ivan moved his hand away after the younger man had stopped struggling, and was just lying there, trying to regain his breath. "Become one with me, America. I'll take care of you. I'll cherish you."

After all that had happened, Russia's words almost sounded like heaven. Alfred's hands were still clinging to the other's arm like it was a lifeline, when verily, it was more like a deadly tripwire. It would kill within seconds if set off the wrong way…

It was just like Russia.

"Listen to me, Russia." Alfred still had an iota of hope left. He felt he could still persuade the older nation to coincide, and then withdrawal. "Ivan, I know you feel alone, but you have to realize, if we become part of you, we'll be nothing but your lifeless puppets. You won't get that same warmth that you get when you're with us, now. You'll be even more alone."

Tears glistened like crystals on the Russian's cheeks and fell on Alfred's bare chest. They were cold, but so full of profound sorrow, and also out of place for someone who had a long history of bloodshed.

"Ivan," the younger man whispered sympathetically.

"Your skin…it burns. Even through my gloves," Ivan murmured brokenly. "I crave to have what you have." He placed his forehead against Alfred's left breast, his lips brushing against the soft skin there. "You smell like spring. Something that's only brief for me."

Alfred sighed with contentment as he curled his fingers into the hair at the nape of Ivan's neck, and suddenly found himself hugging the taller man. This would definitely appear awkward if someone were to walk in on them unsuspected.

"I want to hurt you so bad," Ivan sobbed as he wrapped his hands tightly around Alfred's waist and pulled him closer. "I've tasted your blood, and smelled your flesh. I want to feel you now." It came out as a mix of a plea and an order, which was a sign that there was something other than hatred on his mind.

America smirked lewdly. "If that's all you want, then I'll be more than happy to heat up that cold exterior of yours." He flinched when he tried moving his right arm, and glanced at his injury with disgust. "C-Could you…take care of this first?"

Ivan chuckled as he left Alfred's side to retrieve the necessities from the restroom. And, like a mother with tender hands, he cleaned and mended Alfred's wound. After he set the bandages and cleaning supplies aside, he started to remove his scarf and overcoat.

"You're built much better than me." Alfred stared, entranced by the dips and curves of the other's muscles. His fingers traced over the ripples of Ivan's abs, and for that given moment, he actually considered handing himself over to Russia. He must be going insane.

"Jealous?" Ivan smirked. "If you didn't eat so many hamburgers everyday."

Alfred scoffed. "As if, bastard. Cool and out of shape do not go together. I'm awesome, and you better…believe it… Hey!" He squawked indignantly as Ivan started undoing his pants. "You just can't ignore me like that…" The younger man yelped as his pants and boxers were ripped away from his bottom half, and revealed his already hardened manhood. He shielded his face from embarrassment, and smiled sheepishly as his hands were pried away easily by the larger nation.

"Don't hide your face, America. I want to see it when you scream in agony as I tear into you."

"Ah…" Alfred guffawed in amusement. "I hope you're not going to be saying those things during our 'intimacy'."

Ivan reached for the hand lotion sitting on the bedside table before lifting Alfred's legs over his shoulders. "Bad habit, I'm afraid." He was smiling boyishly again as he started prepping his partner's entrance. "I don't intend to change it."

The smaller nation gave a sharp gasp as a very cold, lubed finger entered him. "I…I prefer it this way." He shuddered violently as the intruder curled and struck his prostate dead on.

"Oh?" Ivan seemed thoroughly intrigued by the other's comment. "I thought America could care less about other nations."

Alfred chuckled brokenly, do to the pleasure riding through his body. "You have my attention…now, don't you?"

"For now, yes, but what about later?" With that said, Ivan added another finger to the persuasion, causing the younger man to cut himself off with a moan and glare at him intensely. "Your expression is very pretty, America. But, I'd really like to see it twisted with pain." He leaned forward and stole a chaste kiss.

America shivered pleasantly, wanting nothing more than to just kick Ivan in the face and then demand that he hurry the fuck up. He couldn't take this torture anymore! But, then again, Ivan wouldn't have it any other way, so Alfred would simply have to endure it...for now.

The Russian licked his chapped lips and could taste the other's blood that had splattered him five minutes ago. It had that familiar tang, and an odd sort of sweetness that he had tasted earlier. He was fairly certain that the people of his land didn't have this trait running through their veins. No, this was something specially embedded into a nation, a free nation.

The land of milk and honey.

"I hate you," Ivan stated innocently. "I hate you for everything that you are. I wish I could just break you and your children." He continued to prep America, spreading his tight sphincter and using the pad of his finger to massage the prostate. With his free hand, he squeezed some more lotion onto his cock and hissed at the cool temperature.

Alfred gasped and arched his back off the mattress. "Stop," he muttered feebly, his mind numbing from the intense pleasure coursing throughout his nervous system. "D-Damn…it! Just do it already!"

"You're in a hurry to feel agony, America?" Ivan chuckled darkly as he removed his fingers and positioned his erection at the still tight opening. "Who am I to deny such services?"

The room echoed loudly with the blonde's screams, and Russia found himself quite relieved that the room was sound proof.

Okay, so maybe Alfred hadn't been ready for that hasty invasion. He used his hands to cover his face, blocking out any images that may ruin his concentration of trying to relax. "Russia…Ivan…" He flinched when he felt the taller nation lean forward and pull his hands away.

"What is it, America?"

Alfred couldn't restrain the smile pulling at his lips, and reached forward to pull the other's face toward his own. Their lips met heatedly, and their tongues clashed wantonly. Both nations moaned in unison when Alfred clenched around the other's organ and pulled him closer by wrapping his legs around Ivan's waist.

The headboard rattled violently against the wall as the taller male started thrusting more easily and deeper into his partner.

Ivan moved his lips down Alfred's throat and latched onto a sensitive area with his teeth. He sucked, nipped, and licked until a nice, purple bruise formed just below the blonde's jaw line; a perfect spot where anyone could see it and know that he had been claimed. Ivan smirked when he realized he would never hear the end of it from the shorter nation. But, that was okay, because it would be worth it to see everyone's' shocked expressions.

"I'm going to kill you for that," Alfred groaned. "I can't believe you put it where anyone can see it." He was immediately silenced by a firm and awkward kiss.

"I'm going to be the one to pick up the pieces when you fall apart. I'm going to be the one that'll take care of you when you start feeling your worst. Because, when you fall from grace, America, I'll be the one waiting with open arms. Everyone will just turn you away." Ivan gripped the other's chin between his index finger and thumb, forcing Alfred to look straight into his violet eyes. "You'll then know how I felt after all those years. Complete and utter misery."

Alfred began to shiver after hearing those terrifying, but true, words. They went straight to his groin, even. He mewled desperately as he could feel his release quickly approaching, and started rocking his hips against the older male's abdomen. Fear, which America hated to no end, and was obviously caused by Russia now, created so many different reactions for him. Arousal was only one of the few he didn't expect to happen.

There was a clack by Alfred's glasses falling to the hardwood floor from the nightstand, but it went ignored by the two powerful nations. Ivan buried his face into Alfred's golden locks, breathing in the sent of sunshine and sweat.

Alfred gripped onto his partner's back, digging his nails into the tender flesh. He could see, and even feel, the blinding light surrounding his vision as his balls tightened and forced him to release between their stomachs. He let out a weak gasp before his lips were claimed by another fierce kiss.

Ivan continued to pound into the smaller body until he could feel his own release approaching. He broke their kiss temporarily to pull Alfred closer, almost hugging him affectionately. Ivan angled his hips in a different position before mercilessly driving into the blonde's prostate.

This time, instead of screams of agony, screams of ecstasy were swallowed hungrily by the thick walls.

The blond bit down on his bottom lip when he could feel his manhood beginning to stir again. The friction between their bodies was enough to bring it to full length. "I-I'm coming…again…" He wrapped his arms around the taller male's neck, connecting their foreheads and inhaling each others' breaths.

Alfred's body shuddered as another orgasm struck him, sending him into a black void. Ivan was close to follow, biting back any sound that may have wanted to escape his bruised lips. He took a moment to regain some of his strength, before pulling away carefully and stretching out beside the prone form.

In that single instant, ideas of how to strangle Alfred while he was still unconscious haunted Ivan's mind. It would be so simple, and quick. What held him back? The fact that America's so-called-friends could easily presume that it was him, and just because demise was Russia's own way of settling things. He scoffed.

Ivan moved his fingers curiously along Alfred's chest and settled them around the inviting throat. He stroked the skin tenderly and stared at the love bite proudly. He could leave another one; one that 'he' would only know about. He maneuvered himself between Alfred's legs and easily found the perfect area for marking. Ivan lifted the blonde's left leg over his shoulder and immediately set to work. He nuzzled the tender flesh on Alfred's thigh, and then moved on to kissing, licking, sucking, and last, but not least, biting. There was a soft moan from above him, which Russia smiled at before giving one last kiss to the blossoming bruise, and moved off the bed to dress himself.

"You're leaving already?" Alfred was sitting up on his elbows, a somewhat hurt expression on his usually chipper features.

Ivan sighed as he moved closer to the younger nation. "How long have you been awake?"

The American snorted as he peered down at the bite mark on his thigh. "Your bite wasn't exactly gentle, you know? How could I sleep through something like that…?" He felt the bed tilt heavily as Russia knelt over him and placed a nuzzling kiss to his crown. "Ivan?"

"I have this feeling, that after this war, there'll be more to come. I don't want you to hold a grudge against me forever, because I know I'll be the next to cause you grief. Please, in advance, forgive me." Ivan moved his lips lower to the other's and kissed him briefly. "I want to continue seeing you." Without another word, he left.

Obviously, with Alfred's state of mind, he didn't know what the Russian had meant, and it also wasn't in America to hold a grudge against anyone for very long. Hell, he had already forgiven Kiku. So, he'd forgive Ivan, whatever may come in the future.

Not long after Ivan had left, Arthur made his appearance to check on his former colony's wound. "Are you alright, Alfred? It looks like someone already changed your bandages."

Alfred nodded. "Yeah, Ivan was here. He wanted to check up on me," he lied.

Arthur hummed at that. "Really?" With a quick glance, he noticed a bruise, just under Alfred's jaw. "Well, in any case, I'd hide that hickey before coming to any more meetings." He smiled lecherously before patting Alfred's good shoulder. "I'll send someone up later to feed you."

The younger nation was blushing and sputtering uncontrollably. Okay, so this was something he definitely wasn't going to forgive Ivan for!

The glorious end!


End file.
